Shabbat!

Every time I hear the word "Shabbat" I think of Shabba Ranks (Shabba!). I can't help it.

Saturday Shabbat was my first experience of Kabbalah, when my sister - already attending the Chicago centre - came over to visit the UK and said "I really want to go and visit the London centre. I was thinking of going to Shabbat (Shabba!) on the Saturday morning. Will you come with me?"
Me: "So what happens at Shabbat?"
Sister: "Oh, I've no real idea"
Me: "But I won't have a clue what I am doing"
Sister: "Me either. Who cares. Coming?"
Me: "Errrm...ooookaaaayyy..."

You can see I was keen.

After finding a few 'spiritual' books ('Ask and it is Given', by Esther and Jerry Hicks (Or 'Get What You Want' as my sister continues to refer to it), the 'Conversations with God' trilogy by Neall Donald Walsch (the books that started all this off) and Dr Wayne Dyer's fabulous books and CDs, I felt that I had all that I needed to make a change to my life. Kabbalah was my sister's thing and I deeply suspected (incorrectly I might add) that her interest spawned from one day hoping to bump in to Madonna.

So anyway, we turned up for Shabbat (Shabba! Oh boy, I've gotta stop this) and spent the next three hours 'connecting'. I didn't have a clue what was going on but two things were clear:

1. The people at the centre were so incredibly friendly, open and helpful. There was an atmosphere of total acceptance. Two wonderful ladies sat with us through the whole confusing ceremony and helped us to follow what was going on; and
   
2. I felt like I'd come home. How strange is that.

And so I signed up for Power of Kabbalah One, where I learned that there was also a 'connection' on the Friday night, and to make the best of the energy you really need to attend both.

The first time I attended Friday night I thought 'okay, I have NO idea what is going on'. There were lots of songs to sing, raising our energy to Keter and back down to Malchut. All in Hebrew, of course, none of which I understand, but the energy in the room is phenomenal. Everyone sings with such gusto and it is this that I love.

I've always enjoyed joining in with a good sing-song, but to begin with I confess to feeling like a slight fraud. Here I was, standing in a room full of people, singing songs in Hebrew that I had no way of understanding (for all I know it could have been a version of 'She'll be coming round the mountain'). It is no wonder that people outside of Kabbalah get the impression that it is a cult - if I was walking past the centre right now I would be thinking that everyone inside was totally barmy.

And then there were the continual greetings of 'Shabbat Shalom!' and I felt slightly ridiculous returning the phrase - as though the words wouldn't properly form in my mouth. It was a bit like the awkwardness of speaking French in France and watching the face of the person you are talking to slowly drop with confusion. Isn't 'Shabbat Shalom' just for the Hebrew speakers? Why are they saying it to me? (Please, don't make me say it...)

Anyway, I continued with attending Shabbat and last Friday the 'connection' was incredible. I could have flown home. As I have continued pushing past my ego, things have changed in the following ways:

• I now know the songs well enough to help other people follow them, and no matter how I am feeling when I arrive at the centre, I feel determined to raise my mood and so I sing with gusto like everyone else. I don't care that I don't understand the words - they work.
• I now comfortably greet everyone I meet with 'Shabbat Shalom' without feeling like an imposter.
• I really couldn't care less if other people think we're barmy. I'm having the time of my life.
  
• If the singing during the connection is crazy, it doesn't compare with the hollering and table-banging of the post-meal Shabbat songs. The result is that I leave the centre feeling as though the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.
  

And it cheers me up during the week when I find myself singing the words that I can remember over and over and over.

There is still a lot I would like to learn about the process, meaning and energy of Shabbat , but for now... Bar Yochai Nimshacta Asrechah.....