Bobbing up and down like this.....

Following on from my earlier post, I completed part two of my process today. The Mikveh.

I don't know whether burning the 'shell story' had taken effect, or whether I was filled with pure nervous energy over the thought of going to a public pool and doing something odd, but this morning (as I said to my sister earlier) I was like a wasp on speed, zooming through the house getting on with things that I have procrastinated on for far too long. I tidied paperwork, I put boxes and things to sell in the back room, I put the rubbish bags outside the back door in to the bin, I did a load of washing and hung it out, and I filled my swim bag with the following items:

• Goggles for pre-meditation (and checking out the lie of the land) swim
• Nose clips (as if I am not drawing enough attention to myself)
• Shampoo, shower gel, hair brush and mousse
• Towel
• Make-up
• Mikveh meditation laminated sheet
• Carrier bag for wet swimming costume

Notice anything missing? No, neither did I.

So I set off for the pool and noticed various spinal twinges along the way, which I ignored. And then, when I was halfway to the pool, I very suddenly went deaf in my left ear. Oo, interesting. And then when I was halfway across the car park to the pool, I then went deaf in my right ear too. How bizarre.

"ONE ADULT SWIM" I shouted at the young man behind the counter, determined to see the process through.

So I got changed and carried my A4 meditation sheet, covered with my towel, through to the pool. It was busy, but not impossibly packed. There were two 'serious' swimming lanes and a wider 'dawdle along and have a chat with your friend' lane. Perfect. It was taking so long for these people to get from one end of the pool to the other ("over-arm strokes" are banned in the dawdlers lane) that I didn't have to worry about taking anyone by surprise as I popped up and down. Leaving my towel and laminated paper on the side of the 'spectators only' area, I went to the deep end, slid in to the pool (which was surprisingly warm) and did a couple of slow lengths of breast stroke.

And then I thought 'why put this off any longer?' and retrieved my sheet from the side, receiving a curious glance from the young female life-guard watching the deep end. Oh, so what if she is curious - for all she knows I could be doing confidence exercises, clinging to the wall by the steps and periodically disappearing.

Throughout the process I kept my focus on the sheet and ignored everything else going on around me. And nobody seemed to take the slightest bit of notice. So what was I worried about? I concentrated on the meditations, taking my time, stopping once to retrieve my goggles when they floated off the top of my head, and a second time to avoid a young chap with down's syndrome who was delighted to have swam the length of the pool unaided. And he swam it using a very splashy front crawl which strictly speaking, was illegal, but I wasn't about to rain on his parade looking at the smile on his face. Well done, You, I thought.

And then I left the pool feeling all light and breezy. My hearing had returned, the pain in my back had disappeared almost completely, and I felt - what's the best way of describing it - all smiley inside.

I even continued to feel all smiley inside when I realised that I had left my knickers and bra at home, and had to walk around the supermarket secretly commando...